Women Are Not Men!

What is Woman?

Vacation

Somehow, they always seem to know when it counts…

After centuries of having this question answered for us, we have struggled to rise to the opportunity of defining ourselves. It’s become an individual project, each woman left to figure it out alone because the thing we all have in common is portrayed as our greatest weakness.

The primordial origins of what it is to be female have been weaponized against us so effectively that we are terrified of them. To even suggest that the potential to gestate offspring is fundamental to femaleness is controversial, and feminism has traditionally been about exploring all the other things women can do.

The legacy we inherited is strangely silent on the subject of motherhood. Implying pregnancy is a uniquely female problem automatically puts people in mind of conservative family cults. ‘Is a childless woman somehow less of a woman?’ comes the perennial question.

Of course not! Biology may not be destiny, but it is our common starting point. Our hypothetical ability to bear children is understood by those around us from the very beginning. It is the wellspring of the endless conditioning we all face.

Our assumed reproductive capacity is the rationale for misogyny. It is the foundation of the patriarchy we are fighting every day!

Feminism’s unwillingness to directly address this fact is its fatal flaw.

Radical feminism is supposed to be about getting to the root of female oppression. Yet, somehow, it’s unpopular to point out that the root of women’s oppression is our unique childbearing abilities. Men simply can’t do this, and they’re still fuming over it! 

A pregnant woman is a vulnerable woman, a new mother even moreso. Creating the next generation takes a lot out of you, and our male companions have taken disgusting advantage of this process.

But never mind suggesting we should be controlling that conversation. Maybe after we get parity in the Fortune 500.

I understand the gutwrenching, involuntary internal scream in response to, ‘Do you think you might settle down?…’ On top of the social suffocation that is Parenthood, kids have only become less affordable since people started asking me that. I get how plenty of other Pushing-40s have passed that off-ramp and not looked back.

But if we are really so enlightened, if we have cast aside the shroud of ignorance and revealed Woman as just as capable and intelligent as any man, we should be able to look honestly at who she is. Where we come from will always be part of who we are.

Little Girl Makeup

Someday, I’m getting out of this dump!

Maybe think of motherhood as women’s hometown. Some of us are happy there and stay there our whole lives, others leave early and never look back. Some of us yo-yo for decades before making up our minds.

At 20, I was a Leaver. I was way too focused on being a nervous wreck to worry about family planning. I probably should have, but I’ve always been determined not to be resentful of my son.

We are responsible for making choices, and I would never force motherhood on anyone who didn’t want it. It’s fucking hard! And if your heart’s not in it, please don’t bother.

But whether or not we realize our reproductive potential is strangely beside the point.

The very existence of that potential – our Hypothetical Motherhood – has been enough to justify thousands of years and millions of lives. Have a baby, don’t have a baby – I look forward to celebrating our freedom of choice when all women share it.

Sadly, that’s not looking likely anytime soon. Women’s liberation, our personal bodily autonomy, is out of fashion in the Western democracies. We’re being brushed aside, yet again, in favor of the latest iteration of Male Supremacy. Quelle suprise.

And we’re letting it happen because we’re too afraid to face who we are. Better to be erased from law and history than admit what a female is.

Men have no problem confronting their maleness, they assume it’s just how things are! They turn the thermostat down and get up and leave without a word, frustrated by the suggestion of alternatives. Men have written endlessly about what it’s like to be a man. They have expressed every possible permutation in loving detail, indulged in their darkest thoughts without a shred of shame.

The ‘male gaze’ is everywhere, many young girls absorb it and internalize it. I know I did. Again, we are isolated, separated into body parts and spread across camera angles.

What is Woman? Is it any wonder we don’t know?? Men feel perfectly entitled to their maleness, our intimate companions spread their hairy flatulence across the couch without a care in the world! The confidence of a mediocre white man truly is something to behold.

Patch Him Up

Don’t worry, you’ll get him next time!

But all the gender-bending going on has me imagining a different kind of swap – What if masculine traits made you look less intelligent, less competent? Why is a deep voice perceived as authoritative instead of dopey? Why is it what a fat bitch and not what a hairy neanderthal?

Because our social narrative says so. Being female is not a weakness, and birthing children sure as hell isn’t.

Women have had to be extremely adaptable in ways that men haven’t, and now our ability to go-along and get-along has been turned on us, too. We have been tricked into exchanging too much of ourselves for admission to a world that already belonged to us.

Soon they’ll be taking reproduction from us, too, and women will become the Neanderthals – A forgotten branch of humanity that contributed nothing of much importance.

We need to return to our roots if we want to nurture womanhood, but we’re too afraid to go there. The core of Women’s Liberation should be freedom to be womenand we don’t even know what that means! It cannot be simply to have a job, and not a penis. We are losing because we don’t know what we’re fighting for.

Women are not men. We have a different starting point that results in a different spin on life. If ‘woman is not a feeling,’ what is she?

It’s discouraging and not a little embarrassing that Feminism has no answer for these questions. Woman as adult human female is a bit circular, really, because what is female?

‘Of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs.’ I hate to get essentialist, but I am not the one who brought the conversation to this granular level. We didn’t ask for this role, but let’s give it all we got!

Women are the sex class that can produce offspring. We have to figure out what that means for our future, or let patriarchy decide for us. Again.

Feminism Isn’t For Everyone

The irony of feminism supporting transwomen smacked me in the face today.

Epiphone

Why didn’t I see it before??

Hatshepsut, the ancient Egyptian queen, has joined the long list of dead women transitioning recently. You’d think 3,000 years would be too old to matter, but no corner must remain Unclean.

Amnesty UK even stepped in a few months ago to make it official!

Joan of Arc has also been popular lately. Because why else would a young woman traveling with men through enemy territory wear pants, right?

Katherine Hepburn wore pants, too, so she’s on the list. Despite never claiming to be a man in all the hours of footage and interviews and books.

The strong, iconoclastic women of the past are being rewritten. It’s been in the chatter for a while, Hepburn was nominated in 2006.

“Her great passions were for men,” Hepburn biographer Bill Mann says in this Advocate article. “Men who, on some level, she wished she could be like. She admired masculinity a great deal.”

Sounds like some good, old-fashioned internalized misogyny to me.

James Barry, the Irish-born British Army surgeon, did live as a man. During a time when women were forbidden from higher education. Following her dreams took a bit of dressing-up, which is pretty relatable, really. 

From ancient rulers to movie mavens and even Greek goddesses, no woman who pokes her head above the crowd is safe from being transformed into a man these days.

The olds are speaking up to share some perspective. My personal favorite was an Ovarit exchange, “They act like their ideology didn’t appear less than 20 years ago.

“When I went to high school, there were about 1,000 kids. Zero trans. I’m sure some weren’t out, but there were maybe 5 lesbians, 3 bi girls (myself included) and 2 gay guys.”

Another user summed up: “‘BuT iT’s MoRe SoCiAlLy AcCePtAbLe NoW!’ No, it’s a narcissistic fad.

This tracks with my own experience. As a boy in a girl’s body in 1998, I felt completely alone. Social contagion isn’t the only driving force here, but it’s definitely not helping.

Even back then, mainstream feminism was not equipped to tackle this stuff. Materialism and instrumentalism were what got me through, although I didn’t know what to call them then.

I kinda came at feminism backward, following the thread of female identity out of the woods. I have a lot of sympathy for those who are confused.

But this Wokeist idea that feminism is for everyone is toxic, stifling garbage! Last week my own little mini-mob was sure to bleat that if I don’t support transwomen, I’m not a feminist.

It’s both easy and fun to inform them that I stand for women, and confused men aren’t.

Throw Him In

Lemme throw around some of this extra weight middle-age brought me!

But what are women these days? A meme made the rounds saying ‘cis’ women don’t have arm hair. “If they do, they have a hormone imbalance or are trans.” A few of us had a good chuckle – Who believes this crap?

Then I got to thinking about the massive generation coming up behind us, even more confused and less supported. Imagine you’re 12 reading this, just old enough to know you know nothing and probably afraid to ask.

You might shave your arm hair, to hide that hormone imbalance you’ve obviously got cooking. And you may begin to notice how many other women have it.

But instead of reminding you to relax, that all women have body hair and maybe it’s not such a big deal, you’re shocked at the number of transwomen you see. Transwomen who look just like regular women, just like you keep hearing they do.

And being ‘cis’ looks less and less appealing anyway, as the list of things women can’t do just keeps getting longer!

Rule a country in traditional garb? Clothes make the man. Command armies? Very butch, darling.

Change your look to enable your career? Obviously only someone with Man Essence could possibly do that!

Arm hair? Man. Pants? Man. Short hair? Masculine as fuck. 

Why should feminism support transwomen, when trans ideology is factually, literally erasing women from the world?? Not just from the present, but the past and future, too!

Cleo

I’m sorry, you want me to give you… what??

I don’t know how much more obvious it could be – Trans rights are not women’s rights.

To be a Woman in trans ideology, you must perform femininity properly (Daily Updates where available!) and be fine with it. Anything less, and you might want to look into non-binary status. Unless you’re male, of course. Then Self-ID is all you need!

Funny how that old double-standard is still there, isn’t it?

Add this to the pile of reasons that gender is nonsense. It gives me the same kind of headache as rearranging algebra equations to equal zero. All that work for nothing!

Even if, through some evolutionary or spiritual disaster, transwomen were somehow actually women in any meaningful way, their movement is suffocating us. In pulling focus to identity – Away from material reality –  they are pulling us into an endless maze of smoke and mirrors.

The transing of the dead is like self-insert History fanfic. The same impulse that drives them to invade every forum, sewing circle and support group pushes them to possess anything good ‘If I want it, it’s already mine!’ – and compete with anyone unlucky enough to be around.

Whatever doesn’t fit the narrative gets ignored. Simone De Beauvoir’s line about becoming a woman gets trotted out every so often, but De Beauvoir’s writing is unfaltering in its female rage. Rage stemming from certain material realities that chemistry helps us modern females forget.

But I suppose it’s only a matter of time before De Beauvoir will have become a woman because she was really trans, too.

They have even found a way to reinterpret Andrea Dworkin for their own purposes. Or snippets, anyway. Most of her writing isn’t about them either, she and De Beauvior are just ugly and mean. Because women having anything to ourselves is an absurd notion.

Bloodletting

Just say when!

At the end of the day, they still want to own us. Those who ignore the protests of women and girls at having our spaces infiltrated and our spots taken have failed to make it to the next rung of social evolution. We’re seeing all the confusion and rage that comes with feeling lost in your own society.

Women are not going back into the cage without a fight, and some of us would rather burn the whole thing down. The old tricks stopped working, so patriarchy came up with new ones. It really is that simple.

Feminism is not for everyone because feminism is about setting women free from the rule of men. This goal has obviously not been achieved, so the fight goes on.

The world is full of struggles, and feminism intersects with them all because women are everywhere.

But Mommy needs to put on her own oxygen mask first.

Pockets And Women’s Liberation: Why Not Both?

“All this time, we have been quietly permitting society to convince us that, in discarding the torturously repressive corset, we have definitively thwarted the patriarchal hold over female liberty Once And For All…

“While in actuality, our material freedom has been gradually snatched from right under our noses in the form of expensive jeans with fake pockets requiring additionally expensive handbags!

“Do with that information what you will.”

Self Portrait

Oh, snap – A challenge!

It sounds too simple, but the erosion of women’s pockets through the 19th and 20th centuries follows our struggle for liberation. The more autonomy women have, the fewer and smaller the pockets.

Bernadette Banner’s brief history condenses our struggle into a single point – The harder we fight, the more privacy gets taken.

Seated primly before the camera, dark hair scraped back from her magenta jacket, Bernadette clearly knows what she’s talking about. The video is a collaboration with Yale Press, publishers of The Pocket: A Hidden History of Women’s Lives.

She speaks passionately about the “vast spacial luxury we were once afforded.”

The switch to sewn-in pockets has been so complete, removable pockets sounded weird at first.

But until the 16th century, everyone’s pockets were basically little flat bags tied to a belt and tucked under your clothes. Men attained sewn-in pockets in the early 1500s, while women continued wearing the older style under their many billowing skirts.

The thing is, pockets are pretty simple. They didn’t change much for a very long time. And for about 200 years, women seemed to like their tie-ons just fine.

Bernadette explains how they were made of different materials and personally decorated, “As they weren’t always seen, there wasn’t pressure for them to adhere to very specific designs according to fashion and to change them out according to the season.

“A pocket is a personal item, worn next to the body and often out of sight. And, perhaps most importantly, is representative of a material autonomy that many women, for much of history, were not able to partake in.

“The items kept in a pocket were personal, concealed, and uncontrolled by anyone but the wearer.”

Sewing them into the clothes made them more secure, but less personal. Being part of a garment meant they had to follow its form, and that form usually worked against us.

Long Underwear

Where the hell am I supposed to put pockets in this?!

Mary Wollstonecraft published A Vindication of the Rights of Woman in 1792, and the demand for better treatment only grew louder. Naturally, fashion in the early 1800s took a sharp turn toward slim silhouettes, making pockets less private.

The inevitable accessorizing of handbags was rejected at the time as, “Not a fair representation of the substantial pockets which our ancesstresses wore; they were proper pockets.”

At least that writer had cultural memory to base an opinion on. We have forgotten so much!

Working-class women kept on wearing their handmade tie-ons, but trend chasers had to work harder and harder to keep their pockets from spoiling their Look. The feminine conflict between looking good and carrying your stuff was born.

The pocket switch for women’s clothes really took off around 1850, coincidentally just as the Industrial Revolution was making ready-made clothes affordable. Suddenly, a young woman with a job could buy more clothes than her mother ever owned!

In the 1880s the invention of the bicycle opened up new horizons, sparking a pretty serious anti-feminist backlash. It’s hard to imagine bikes being controversial, but no detail seems too small for patriarchal meddling.

“The latter part of the 19th century also sees a relative slimming of skirt silhouettes. Primarily during the last decade, the area across the hips in particular becomes so tightly fitted as to complicate the wearing of a tie-on pocket.”

No privacy for you, ladies! During this same time, women were gaining admittance to higher education and the marketplace, as well as clamoring for the vote. Is it a coincidence that merchants and thought leaders – All of them men! – might find reasons to constrict us in other ways?

Call me paranoid, but it got pretty ridiculous. “It was also quite common to hide pockets in hilariously illogical places, such as in the center back seam in late ’90s and early Edwardian skirts. Pockets could live under ruffles or drapes, even near the hem, just to ensure that one did always have at least one pocket, despite complex fitting restrictions.”

Thank goodness! I was nervous there for a second.

Jealous Moll

I sure wish I had a pocket for all this loot!

Supposedly, women’s pockets dwindled because manufacturers found them unprofitable. Strange that men’s clothing makers didn’t think of this, why throw money away?

Victorian women wrote quite a bit about how few pockets they had. Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote three essays herself. “But pockets of this period were still mind-bendingly large to our modern sensibilities.”

Bernadette takes out a phone, a book, a bag of snacks, a water bottle, and a man’s pipe – All out of one skirt pocket!

The tie-on didn’t really die until the dawn of Modern Era, around 1900. Young women rejected them along with corsets and petticoats.

But putting our pockets in the hands of manufacturers left us with no control over how they’re made. I’m not saying I want to hand-sew all my own pockets from scraps, but add tie-on pockets to the list of practical female-centric clothing you won’t find in any store. 

“So, how did our pocket problem somehow get worse? How did the dilemma progress from just number to rapidly diminishing pocket size?”

Bernadette has one, opaque answer to this all-encompassing question: Fashion!

The demand for slimmer and slimmer silhouettes took every nook and cranny for keeping things. But she admits that even modern skirts and women’s coats lack storage, and somehow men’s tight fashions compensate with pockets in other places.

She even suggests men have never been required to carry handbags because they are easily stolen.

“People wearing feminine clothing in the 21st century are instructed that, in order to be ‘fashionable,’ our natural bodies must be a particular shape. And fashion forbid we obscure that, even just enough to be able to store a mobile phone!

Fabric

The shape of my body is none of your business!

Because if a woman keeps something private, she has a secret. Every inch of personal space is hiding something. The more independent we are, the more scrutinized we are. You know, to make sure we’re using our freedom right.

And if a man can’t own you, he should at least get an unobstructed view of your butt, right?

Fashion is not your friend. What if we treated Fast Fashion like Fast Food, and learned to make our own at home? Sewing is another girly thing we gave up to join the Boy’s Club, but what if there’s more to it?