This morning I was reading an article in The Guardian when suddenly my screen was filled with spammy bullshit about winning prizes. Sure, but only if I sign away my life first 🙄

But it doesn’t matter how many times I reset the link, once that crap comes up I am not going to get to finish what I was reading.

And this time, when I tried to click back in the browser it took me to an adult dating app sign-up!

Are you over 18?

How about no?

Are you looking for singles in your area?

Chose No again.

Can you send and receive pics on your device?

No again.

We think you’re perfect! Look at these tits and sign up here!

Dafuq??? I just told you I was a child who isn’t looking to date or trade pics – Why are you showing me boobs?!?

splash
I was just minding my own business!

So, on top of not getting to finish my article, I get to worry about how easy it is to find objectification of seminude women online. Seriously, one page of this maze asked me to “choose one of these women” with one pic being just a pair of tits and a belly! So much for the idea that maybe it knows me and that I’m actually of age.

Why show me pics of young women?

Nope, pretty sure my morning was just forcibly invaded by sexism and porn so casual they throw tits at anyone without even the effort to market to potential clients.

What if I really were a child?? It’s starting to feel like the only way to protect our kids until they are mature enough to deal with stuff like this is to keep them offline. Which is impossible when half their schoolwork is online.

How can I react to this except to ignore it? But I doubt it will go away on its own.

000noticket
Ignoring things makes them disappear!

I’m not against pornography in general. If people want to make and watch movies containing sexual acts, I can’t think of a reason why that’s a bad idea on its face. I have met some who believe that sex recorded in video format is bad as a rule, but when I dig into the argument it’s usually something about

The exploitation in the industry

Or keeping it away from children

Or the extreme nature of modern mainstream pornography.

These are all important points that need to be addressed. However, just because a film contains unflinching portrayals of sex doesn’t mean watching it is bad for you. By this logic action movies contain tons of violence, dramas manipulate our emotions and the horror genre as a concept is truly horrific.

beach pinup
And not all nudity is sexual! Don’t get me started!

Really it seems to come down to pornography making some people profoundly uncomfortable. I sympathize with that feeling, it was my initial reaction. But I have never been able to come up with a solid reason why a movie of people having sex is inherently bad as a concept.

That’s a very general definition. Twisted people have focused on the taboo of it and pushed that edge for so long it’s become absurd to even mention. Common lore has it that nothing is off limits, everything is out there somewhere.

Perhaps the intent is the problem. If the goal is to stretch the limits of vulgarity then naturally we are presented with more and more vulgar stuff. What if the intention was to arouse audiences with lurid portrayals of passion?

redhead nighty
Is this sexy enough for you, darling?

If this sounds too romantic, think about what that says about the state of things! Sex is so easy to see that hardcore graphic depictions of it sound pedestrian. No restraints? No unnecessary theatrical position changes? No power plays?

Variety is the spice of life.

But it’s just damn lazy to rely on taboo for a thrill. Especially when your subject matter is interesting to almost everyone on Earth.

And it doesn’t belong in random pop-ups in the middle of news articles. Porn has officially become intrusive in my life (again!) But it’s not even someone I know clumsily bringing it out. It was the blind, uncaring tide of the Internet, and we are all at its mercy.

img_0658
Not sure I will ever find firm footing again!

Why isn’t graphic sex enough? Dress it up however you want, sex is still sex. But we never get tired of it. For most people, added elements of violence are unnecessary to maintain interest.

Pornography definitely relies on pushing boundaries in general but the penchant for violence is so pervasive that several people have commented to me about it, from an older lesbian to my middle-aged husband and a diverse selection besides. And I have read things written by many others.

Participating in a culture that lives to stretch vulgarity nurtures this mode of thinking in the individual. Instead of How can I make the most of this?, the question becomes What can I get away with? 

wanted
You’re not getting away with shit while I’m around!

Off the top of my head, I would guess that the overabundance of sexual violence and domination that’s trendy right now is part of a backlash to the success of the Women’s Movement in the last 100 years.

The industry itself is not kind to its actors but I think that’s a Capitalism issue. Capitalism is at least one post on its own.

As an aspect of backlash, is it bound to fade away as society absorbs change? Because it sucks if men are angry but we’re not giving up the vote.

vote
More women vote than men. We just need to work together!

We are going to keep pushing the glass ceiling. We are going to assert our inherent authority over reproduction.

Another interesting thing I read recently is that men who fear the rise of women imagine a world where women treat men like they have treated us.

Personally, I might start just by keeping porn away from the news.

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