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More specifically, a hedonist. And a total maniac. It’s spit-take-worthy irony that she would pray for the abortion of “satanic pregnancies.”

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Even the most casual of Christians will be familiar with Jesus’ messages of charity and peace. Heal the sick, the meek shall inherit the earth, all that. These things are central to the popular idea of his character.

It’s not one of my favorite stories, but I can see how some people find good things in it.

Then, there’s Prosperity Doctrine.

These people believe that God shows his favor through material wealth.

And they talk about Jesus

All

The

Time

It’s pretty obscene, even to me.

Now, one of these bizarro-Christians has snaked her way into the White House. The ultimate expression of the unholy alliance between the conservative party and the Christian Right.

Paula White is not there by accident, either. This woman has a nose for power. She has a history of discarding people who hold her back. “Leeches,” as she calls them. She won’t be cowed by such “demonic” forces.

Doctors have erased the lines of a face that has seen abuse and death. The suicide of her father colored her childhood, and she has become a woman who takes fate into her own hands.

At first glance, what Paula says sounds a lot like the Manifestation stuff that’s going around. “Make your world with your words!“

Okay, sure. “Where I walk,” Ms. White has famously said, “God walks.“

Hey, she’s a televangelist. These people are literally just con artists who prey on the mentally and financially challenged. They say some crazy shit in pursuit of this morally repugnant goal.

But Paula takes it that final step. “I am Divinity.”

“When I walk on White House grounds, God walks on White House grounds.”

“Anyone who tells you to deny yourself is from Satan.“

Hold up. This is literally exactly what Satanists believe.

In my meanderings through philosophy, I happened to read the Satanic Bible. Written by a carnie, its lack of pretense is endearing.

Not to be confused with the angry Christians who worship the evil Demi-god of that religion called Satan. Those people are Big-C Crazy.

No, The Church of Satan preaches that we are all the divine spark in our own lives. They reject the notion of being “saved” from life, choosing to embrace this earthly plane. Much of which Christianity deems “evil.”

Thus, the inversion of that – The Church of Satan. It’s a pun, or something.

But whereas Christianity preaches asceticism (the rejection of earthly delights) hedonistic ideas focus on making the most of the here and now.

The Church of Satan blatantly states, “Our position is to be self-centered, with ourselves being the most important person (the "God") of our subjective universe, so we are sometimes said to worship ourselves.“

Hmmm….

Paula says, “I have every right and authority to declare the White House holy ground, because I was standing there and where I stand is holy."

American Christianity would seem to have thought its way clear through the wall it built between itself and the barbaric past it was reacting against. From the outside looking in, this is almost kind of funny.

Except that these people are not wrong. There is a creative force that each of us possesses, we use it to build our lives for better or worse. Paula White is, for lack of a better term, an evil witch.

And she is not alone. Prosperity Doctrine is booming in America. It’s some sick shit.

These people focus on amplifying their creative energy to spread lies and enrich themselves. I don’t use religious (nor, certainly, magical!) terminology lightly, although I may not believe these things myself.

Satanists are not evil. Their website declares, “Satan to us is a symbol of pride, liberty and individualism, and it serves as an external metaphorical projection of our highest personal potential. We do not believe in Satan as a being or person.“

Paula White is evil. She asks for thousands of dollars in “seed money” from people who have to take out loans to send it to her. And tells them doing this will buy favor with God.

"There is a department of treasury in Heaven, which says God is watching over everything you do and you are storing up eternal treasure that will go so far beyond what we can even imagine ... you need to send in $3,500; you need to send in $35,000; you need to send in that $100,000 check."

Did you get that?

Buy favor with God.

For whom she speaks, naturally.

I guess I’ll be seeing Ms. White with all the other heretics someday. She is a hypocrite of the highest order – Preaching the exact opposite of the religion she based her career on – But she’s also just plain evil. In the gross, sad way that preys on the elderly.

And this is the spiritual advisor to the President of the United States.

This quote I found in Newsweek illustrates her conflation of physical and metaphysical, of Church and State: “We are scaring the literal hell out of demonic spirits…. If we get two more [Supreme Court justices], we will be able to overturn demonic laws and decrees that have held this nation in captivity.”

If you are considering voting for this man, please look at what you would be endorsing. I know we all want to pretend it’s 2000 forever, but the stakes have gotten real.

We have a party which proposes healthcare for poor people

Versus a party that believes being poor means God hates you.

These are the broader values going here. Do you stand with Jesus? With the meek? With the huddled masses of all colors and creeds who built this damn country? With the spirit of prosperity through cooperation that supposedly animates the American Experiment?

We can’t let these crazy people control our country. Paula White is a narcissistic maniac and these people are telling Trump that he is God.

“To say no to President Trump would be to say no to God.”

This is not gonna go well.